CHAPTER 1

I was infuriated. Nanarus had got the job I should have had. That feminine apology for a man, who shaves, lines his eyes like an Egyptian, and paints his face! How could he be governor and save us from our enemies? We needed a proper man!

Yes, that was my firm opinion. A man needs no enhancement apart from his beard and what he gets in the gymnasium.

But I shouldn’t have said it out loud.

I was questioning the King’s judgement and there are always evil ears ready to pass on damaging remarks.

I knew at once this had happened when I was seized by two hefty guards and dragged away, but was surprised when they took me not to the dungeons or to the King, but to somewhere I did not recognise and threw me onto the floor in front of a woman aged about forty or so. She clapped her hands and a girl came in with a razor and a bowl.

“I am Amat-Marduk, the chief maid of the women’s quarters,” she said.

“The King has ordered that you shall be made into a woman and reside with me.”

I couldn’t help it. I soiled myself.

She heard the sound, smelled the odour and looked disgusted.

“So this is the brave Parsondes! The warrior who would save us from our enemies! Take him outside and clean him up!”

The guards dragged me into a courtyard, threw a bucket of water over me, then gave me another bucket and a rag and ordered me to clean myself. I undressed, and washed as people came to mock me. My garments were swiftly stolen despite the filth. Some brought more water to throw over me. Naked, wet, shivering and utterly humiliated I was taken back and thrust into a sort of throne and my hands tied onto the arms. The guards stood with their spears ready.

“Mistress, I can’t work while he’s shivering,” said the girl and was told to get a blanket.

She brought it and put it over me.

The chief maid came over and bent down so that her face was directly in front of mine.

“She is only going to remove your beard, not to unman you.”

The guards smiled and winked at one another, and I felt foolish and angry at myself.

The girl was skilled and gentle, but I knew what would be revealed in the bronze mirror she held up.

“My job might not be so difficult,” mused the chief maid.

I had been so glad when I had enough beard to cover up my pointed chin. When I was small, kind people told my mother that her daughter looked very much like her. I wished I had my father’s square jaw, but a square beard had been good enough when I moved away from Uruk to Babylon where no-one knew me to join the King’s army.

“Listen, and you may yet live to sire children,” she told me.

“The King’s orders are that you must live as a woman, among women for a year. To dress and be painted as a woman, and to learn their arts. If you can do this, and be accepted as a woman among women, then you will be freed, to live as you wish. If not, you will be unmanned, and kept as a palace slave in the kitchens. And of course, should you molest any of the King’s wives and concubines, or any of the maids, you are to be put to death.”

“Nanarus?” I asked.

She made a half-smile, and released my bonds.

“Now come with me.”

The guards still stood at the door we had come in, and there was nowhere else to go.

I wrapped myself in the blanket and went down a corridor to a door guarded by two massive eunuchs. I guessed this was an entrance to the women’s quarters of the palace and shivered a little at the thought at what might yet happen.

Through a courtyard and two more rooms we came to one in which there was a sumptuous bath, already filled with scented water. Two maids bowed as she came in; they were much younger but nubile and in light short gowns.

“Now you are to have the unique privilege of being bathed by me. It is my unfortunate duty for the next year. Get in.”

I used the blanket to hide myself as I got in, but had to drop it.

She also disrobed apart from a girdle and loincover, and I saw a fine woman, maybe forty years old, with the high breasts of a virgin. Despite knowing the eunuch guards were in earshot, and the danger I was in, I found myself responding as she washed me thoroughly with sponges. When she had finished, I was told to stand over a grating as the maids poured clean warm water over me, then dried me with towels, while their mistress dried herself and dressed.

I was standing naked, my cock erect, confused, half fearful and half excited.

“Do you know what this is?” she said, taking a sort of wooden paddle from her girdle. I realised she must be a priestess as well as chief maid.

“The spade of Marduk, god of Babylon?” I ventured.

“Yes. I use it to discipline the maids, and I will use it to discipline you if necessary.”

As she finished, she swung it and it smacked my balls, causing me to collapse.

“You and I are to spend up to a year together. Your obedience will help us both.”

I was taken to a couch and told to lie upon it.

The razor girl came back.

I was worried, but as I was not tied şişli esc down or held by guards, I guessed correctly what was now going to happen.

“The bath softens the hair,” Amat told me.

“Kalumtum has never done this to a man before, so keep still.”

I smiled at the cute name ‘little lamb’ and saw her tight curly hair. She smiled back.

She started under my arms, then moved to my belly. Sadly, I had very few hairs on my chest. I just lay back and recited poetry to myself. I could feel her moving carefully around my thighs and concentrated hard on the description of a bloody battle.

Then she stopped.

“Mistress. I don’t know how to manage this, with the skin all loose. It looks very thin. I’m afraid I might cut it.”

Then there were hands on my balls.

“Don’t worry. Don’t worry, you can stretch it like this, and just hold the cock away. You’ll see.”

Smaller hands started lifting my cock and tentatively pulling my balls about.

I couldn’t help it. I just started to rise.

“Oh Mistress, that’s much better. Thank you,” I heard Kalumtum say with delight.

I realised she must be used to shaving women’s most delicate parts, so the feelings were so careful and gentle, but also very erotic.

I looked up across my stiff cock to see two women, Amat smiling and Kalumtum concentrating.

“There, Mistress. Is that good enough?”

She held the end of my cock with the tips of her fingers and stroked my balls. Amit also felt around. It was wonderful. I wondered if Nanarus had this pleasure, and wondered why no-one had told me of the delight.

“Excellent, Kalumtum. Now when you’ve finished you do this.”

She hit my balls with the back of her hand and I spasmed in pain.

“Now you try it, girl.”

“No, harder!”

“Oh Mistress! It seems so cruel.”

“It is discipline. In all other ways Beltis is to be treated like any other concubine, but we have to manage her deformity, and it is my instruction to you that you finish in this way.”

I was too busy with the shock to say or do anything, but was grateful when I was given some wine to sip.

I realised I had been given a name. Beltis, meaning lady. A delightful name to call a cute little girl, less so for a proud man.

I had to sit in the bath again, then she shaved my legs, my arms and back. I was rinsed over the grating, dried and rubbed with some scented oil.

She took a long women’s tunic, and was lifting it up when I told her I was a soldier and could dress myself, so put it on. Of course it hid my muscular legs. I waved her away from the pile of shawls in different colours, and tied one around my waist and one over my shoulder as women do.

She covered her mouth, and was trying not to laugh.

“Out with it, girl!” I said.

“Tell me, what’s so funny?”

She could hardly speak for giggling.

“Nothing, Mistress mother.”

“What?”

I realised there must be some significance.

“Sorry, mistress, but your waist shawl says you are a mother of more than one. And your shoulder one says your husband is an artisan. From the quality, he is doing well, or at least that is what you want us to think.”

She couldn’t help herself, but sat on the floor, laughing.

My anger changed to embarrassment and then I laughed myself.

Not having much to do with women, I had never realised how much these clothes meant. After a few months I began to understand something of the code, but I had to rely on Kalumtum to deal with the details, and to tell me what signals some of the concubines were making to each other. The colours, the material, and the way they were tied all had significance, and it was possible to cause offence in many ways.

When I was given food, I was told this:

“As a concubine you will eat no flesh, only fish and fowl in moderate amounts. For each day of bleeding, they are given porridge with cow’s blood. When pregnant they get it with bull’s blood if a boy is forecast. You will get the porridge without blood each time Kalumtum is bleeding. You will also wear the garment for this time.”

The garment was a sort of loincloth with rags to catch the blood.

CHAPTER 2

Over the next week my mind was mainly on the revenge I would take. The people I would contact, the army I would raise, when and where to attack him and what I would do with my triumph. Of course, I had to escape from my prison first, but that would be no good unless I had a plan for immediate and long-term action. I felt some satisfaction as my plans grew.

Meanwhile, I was bathed twice a day by Amat, and shaved often by Kalumtum. My skin was rubbed with a magic stone from a fire mountain, which actually floated, but removed the honest calluses of a man’s skin, making me smooth and soft. She also styled my hair and painted my face, fingernails and toenails. I was taught to walk and eat in a womanly way, and had to learn poems suitable for women.

I had little experience of women. Had I become governor, I would have married, of course, but saw no need taksim esc of a wife as an active soldier, and did not wish to risk disease from prostitutes. I relieved my morning stiffness by hand every week or so. Women were just a distraction best avoided while I built my career. Their world and their ways were alien to me. Even their language was different – not the words, but the way they used them – and it took me long time to adapt to it.

Amat was the only maid with a private room. I slept on her bed, a good one, while she slept on a straw mattress on the floor. I understood how she would resent me for this. Close by was a latrine, which by custom only she used. It was mine as well, now, and she or Kalumtum watched to see I always squatted to piss and did nothing with my cock.

I was made to wear the bleeding rags when Kalumtum did. I learned that bleeding is actually a painful time, by the application of Amat’s spade. By chance, I released my seed one night during this time.

After this, I decided to deceive my captors by pretending to have been conquered, and cooperate as well as I could. Meanwhile, I learned as much as I could of my surroundings and the habits of the eunuchs in order to plan my escape.

I had been there for two months when I was surprised to see a man I recognised, but obviously not a guard – an older man named Rimsin who I had known as a scribe of great wisdom, still with a beard, but in eunuch’s gown. He had actually sought me out, having permission but no business in the area in which I was held.

He told me that he had become a eunuch by choice in order to gain a well-paid position within the palace. Since few women can read and write, the main part of his duties was to record matters for the Queen Mother, and also act as an advisor.

“I have a wife, and five children, including two sons. They live well, far better than if I were outside. And if you have to become as me, be comforted, the palace surgeon is well skilled and nearly all survive, unlike the crude butchery done to captives. There was pain for a while, but nothing a soldier like yourself could not easily bear.”

“To tell the truth, I am calmer and happier, without my balls.”

He occasionally went out and visited his family.

My heart leapt. Here was the source of all the information I craved, and perhaps someone who could assist in my escape. I must bide my time, gathering intelligence, and deciding if I could trust him.

As a start, he was happy to tell me about the Queen Mother, who is of course the mother of the present King, and the most powerful woman in the land, for her influence on him. He also explained her role in the harem.

“The King has four wives. They have been chosen for liaison with neighbouring empires. Each has the hope of being the mother of the next King. Of course, the oldest boy has priority, but there are many reasons why he may not survive. The King does his duty with his wives, but for pleasure he has concubines. It is his mother who selects them, as she has done since his first copulation. They give him variety and she knows what her son enjoys.”

This was the company I was to join. He guessed her opinion would count in judging if I had succeeded in becoming a woman in order to regain my freedom as a man.

I was sure that I would be gone before then, but meanwhile I must keep up my pretence.

There were about sixty concubines. Some retire each year and are replaced by new virgins. They are chosen for their beauty but also other talents. Unlike a prostitute, they are not merely a cunt to be used, but an entertaining partner, with music, song, dance, and stories to distract from the burden of ruling. Their ages ranged from three times six to six times six, the fortunate numbers, though few lasted so long. To stay beyond this age, the King would have to take her as a queen, which had happened once in the last ten times six years. On leaving this service, they would generally have no difficulty in finding a good husband, and would receive a generous endowment for their children, if any.

It seemed ridiculous to think that I, a thirty-two-year-old man, could in any way succeed in emulating these paragons of femininity, who had doubtless been practising their arts since childhood. The year was just to give me false hope, before losing my manhood and becoming a kitchen slave.

I must escape, with all the guile and military strategy I could manage!

It was about a month later when the Queen Mother decided to visit my place of imprisonment. Greater luxury than most could imagine, but still a prison. She was the most important woman in the Kingdom. When people in the palace said “The Queen” this was who they meant, while the King’s wives were always named. None but the King himself would dare address her without being asked. Her entry signalled everyone in the room to prostrate themselves, and I quickly followed.

“Up, Beltis,” she said, and I rose to my knees, as I had been instructed. She looked at me carefully.

The Queen Mother was topkapı escort a tall woman, made more so by thick sandals with raised heels and the grandest head-dress I had ever seen, in which flashes of light sparkled from its many jewels. A purple shawl showed she was royal. Worn on the right shoulder showed she was widow. The King’s sign was embroidered in gold. A green waist shawl with a symbol of a ship picked out in pearls showed her status as a princess of Tyre, a valued ally. The number of knots showed the boys to which she had given birth. Double knots showed two no longer lived. She had necklaces of precious glass beads from Egypt, and amber from the far northlands, as well as lapis lazuli of the kingdom. Her fingers and toes had the nails painted in gold.

“Stand,” she said, and I quickly obeyed, but kept my gaze down until she said “look at me.”

“You were once a warrior, were you not? Answer.”

“Yes, your Royal Highness.”

“You do not look like a warrior now, do you?”

“No, Mother,” I said, using it with the inflection meaning a title of respect.

“How do you feel about this transformation?”

“It is the King’s pleasure, Mother. So it is mine.”

She gave what seemed a genuine smile.

“A wise answer. It seems you have been taught well.”

She extended a foot to Kalumtum on the floor beside me.

“Kalumtum, you may kiss me.”

Kalumtum kissed her toes and resumed her position. It would have been an enormous honour, even for a woman of high rank, so I realised how well my maid was regarded.

“Tell me, Beltis, how many times have you been wounded?”

“Twice, Mother. Once with an arrow and once with a spear.”

“A woman is wounded every month,” she replied and I said nothing.

“And how many battles have you fought?”

“Six, Mother,” I said, quite proudly.

“But you were a commander, on your horse. How many times did you actually face another man close up, trying to kill you? Be honest.”

I told the truth.

“Twice, Mother,”

She looked at me for a long time.

“You have told me the truth, and for that I respect you, and will help you all I can. But know this, every time a woman gives birth, she faces such a battle, which lasts many hours of exhausting fighting and often ends in her death. All this after a nine-month campaign in which the burden increases every day. Death may even come sooner in a surprise attack.”

“Kneel, and you may kiss my hand.”

I was shaking as she put her hand forward. I kissed it and she drew it back.

She seemed kind as she spoke.

“I think it is possible that you can achieve a man’s view of what a woman is, though only a wealthy one, so I hope you survive this year-long campaign.”

“What will happen is this. Every month I present the King with six of his concubines to sing and dance during a feast. They are virgins whom he has never tasted, and he chooses one for his bed, and sometimes another for later. We will offer you at the end of the year. If he recognises you, or sees that you are a man, then you have lost and will be unmanned.”

Then she turned and walked out.

A guard eunuch had been standing at the door, and he led the way. She was followed by her maids.

CHAPTER 3

After the Queen Mother’s visit, my life was no longer restricted to the maids and the occasional visit of Rimsin. I was actually permitted to be in the same room, courtyard, or garden as the concubines. Naturally, they kept themselves apart at first. Kalumtum pointed out their gestures and the way in which they conversed, for me to learn. In private she apologised, then demonstrated the way in which a concubine would speak to a maid, to an equal or to the King – voice, words, and gestures.

As a commander, I had envied my fellows with loud booming voices. Now I had learned to speak high and soft.

I was then humiliated by joining them in their daily exercises. They laughed openly at my clumsiness, and inability to reach the positions they took so effortlessly. The movements were not for strength, but for grace and suppleness, in moving generally, in dancing and in congress. I could not help being red faced as I lay on my back, clenching my buttocks in order to tighten my cunt!

I think that laughter helped, as a few of them started speaking with me. They may also have been curious about my unique position. And those who had not yet been tasted by the King may have been interested in my masculinity. Not that they would inquire directly. As I had learned, there were always ears about which might report to others.

Meanwhile my pretence of good behaviour led to a greater knowledge of our quarters. I noted a garden with a strong vine against the wall, which I might climb and wondered what was on the other side. I tried in casual conversations with Rimsin to learn the layout, but also gossip about the royal family and the world outside. The most annoying thing was that Nanarus was viewed as a successful and well-liked governor.

I accepted as if it was military training, the further humiliation of lessons in dance, music and singing, while bathing, shaving and being painted was as normal as eating. Though I lost my muscles, there was some satisfaction in acquiring suppleness sufficient to match some of my companions.